|From "The Craft" (1996 film)|
Those with Venus-Pluto aspects can also get some extreme responses from people while growing up regarding their attractiveness. A lot of adolescents with this aspect blossom very early, almost radically hitting puberty, and can receive overwhelming attention not only from their peers but also from adults, which may or may not be appropriate, depending on the response. Other people with a Venus-Pluto aspect got the other end of the spectrum growing up. You might have grown up feeling relentlessly judged by other people for your looks, maybe even by a particular adult in your life. Venus rules self-worth so there can be an obsessive, painful inner feeling of not being good enough in your formative years. As a Venus-Pluto person, though, you might have just been particularly affected by the culture’s ideas of attractiveness. It may become an obsession that you feel the need to constantly live up to. So, from as early as adolescence, your relationship to your personal attractiveness is either to wield it like a powerful weapon or to shun and deny it, feeling a deep sense of shame or loathing around it.
The dark side of Pluto is resorting to acts of manipulation and control to ensure a sense of security. When Pluto touches a personal planet, this is a tendency that must be taken note of and eventually conquered altogether, if healthy expression of this planet is to be achieved. With Venus in aspect to Pluto, the acts of manipulation and control can be particularly sexual or amorous in nature. You might use your sexual power to get what you want in ways that are underhanded or ruthless. In personal relationships, sex can be used as leverage to ensure that your partner responds to you the way you want. This keeps you feeling like you’ve maintained the upper hand in the situation. In this lower octave, you want the other person hooked to you and you’ll want to possess them, in a way: mind, body, and soul. An enormous amount of insecurity is driving this, of course, because if you were really certain of your self-worth, you wouldn’t have to resort to such ploys.
Another expression of Venus-Pluto’s dark side is getting involved in the most dysfunctional of relationships. This particularly applies to the conjunction, square, or opposition, but even those with the sextile or trine can fall into these patterns all too easily. There can be an urge to meet the volatile side of life through a partner. It’s typical for Venus-Pluto folks to equate love with pain and to go through life being compulsively attracted to those dangerous love affairs that are just no good for them. On the more dramatic end, these romances can involve physical and/or emotional abuse and rampant infidelities, to the point where outsiders simply shake their head helplessly and wonder why you’re still with this person. Venus-Pluto is more vulnerable to these kinds of relationships than most. The toxicity may be more subtle, however. You might just constantly be drawn to partners who are highly manipulative, emotionally cold or unavailable, and/or always turning the relationship into a battle for power, to the point where things get vicious. Yet another manifestation of these tragic romances include a partner who suddenly dies, much too soon, leaving you feeling abandoned. All of these experiences only serve to confirm your belief that you don’t deserve happiness and that no one really cares, which is, of course, false.
The key to all Pluto aspects to inner planets is flipping these sorts of scripts. For Venus-Pluto people, it’s changing that unconscious script and telling yourself that you do deserve happiness in love. It’s telling yourself that you are truly of value, without constantly having to build up that untouchable, invincible exterior that you use to shield your heart from partners. This is inevitably the kind of thing that derails your romantic relationships. Pluto urges us to dig deep so Venus-Pluto people must do so and figure out why they keep drawing these relationships to themselves and why they tolerate it so much. The catalyst for this process is usually a love affair which was so dysfunctional and possibly even traumatic that you see it as a wake-up call. After some serious introspection, involving undergoing the process of really owning your self-worth and inner power, the transformation begins.
At this point, having a Venus-Pluto aspect makes you radiate a kind of attractiveness that is deeply internal as well as wildly attractive to many. On this higher octave, you know that true beauty and joy come from your inner life, first and foremost. Sure, we all have to learn this lesson, on some level. But, learning it gives you a sense of inner peace that allows you to let go of the obsessive preoccupation with the value that other people assign to you. That comes from within and no one can take that away from you. Neither can anyone unravel the value system that you’ll build for yourself, once you really take responsibility for that part of your life. The values of a positive Venus-Pluto individual are unshakable and self-sustaining. This value system usually builds in response to one of those toxic relationships. After putting yourself through that Hell, you’re just not going to tolerate any nonsense from anyone again. Your partners will have to measure up to this code or you can easily do without them.
You’ll have your fair share to choose from, though. Most people with a Venus-Pluto aspect are irresistibly sexy. It’s as if your sex appeal is this magnetizing force that people can’t resist. It doesn’t really matter what you physically look like. Pluto is about mystery and the inner elements that psychologically drive people. Hooked up to your planet of personal attractiveness, this means that your sexual appeal is often quite enigmatic in its source. There’s just something intangible about you that people find intoxicating. And that’s not just potential romantic partners, as Venus also influences our good friendships, as well, and how we conduct those. You have the kind of raw magnetism that draws people to you, as well as an intensity that keeps them sticking around. You like to make deep bonds with people and, even if your Venus is in a more lighthearted sign, you’re not one to enjoy shallow relationships of any sort. You’re quite selective about these relationships, maybe more than people realize. You will quietly assess all of the nuances of a person before you decide to really let them into your personal sphere.
Since Pluto rules the life-death-rebirth cycles, each relationship can feel like that, to you, whenever it ends. It’s as if the old ways of living you adhered to are being eliminated right along with the person that you’re no longer in a relationship with. These endings are usually a very important step for Venus-Pluto, as you just instinctively know when it’s time to cut ties with someone. That is, so long as you’re in a healthy place and not clinging to the relationship obsessively, even if it’s not good for you. However, the thing is that you might be so prone to attracting emotionally unstable people into your life that they have a hard time accepting it’s over. Venus-Pluto folks are prime targets for stalkers and most have had to deal with at least one, often in the form of an ex-partner or a rejected admirer, at some point in their lives. Clearly, making sure you’re with someone who’s more stable than that is the way to avoid this route. You’re innately attracted to people with a particularly intense energy. But, just make sure their intensity manifests in relatively positive and healthy ways.
When you develop into a person who values more inward attractiveness than outward, you won’t care much how you look. It’s not worth investing that much energy into to you. Pluto cuts right through the pretense and reveals things for how they are, so Venus-Pluto folks are more prone than others to not do themselves up all that much and simply say, “This is the real me, so take it or leave it. There’s no in-between.” That is, when you’re comfortable enough in your skin to say that. If you’re not, then the opposite effect can happen and an unhealthy obsession with your looks can be a way of shielding the real self that you find unacceptable. Women with Venus-Pluto aspects might have an especially hard time doing away with all of these trappings. They either wear too much make-up and all the rest of it or strip themselves down in a very raw, bare, little to no make-up style. Many of these women actually look much more attractive without all of that and when they realize this, they feel more empowered.
Finding empowerment through sex is the path to true satisfaction for people with Venus-Pluto aspects. If you have one of these aspects and just don’t consider yourself all that sexy, then you’re not properly owning that sexuality of yours. When you can cast off any conditioned guilt or shame around it, then a big transformation occurs. The potential for true sexual healing is immense for Venus-Pluto people, and Moon-Pluto people as well, as an inner tranquility emerges once you can tap into this side of yourself without self-consciousness or inhibition. This will inevitably give you the ability to help partners confront and do away with any inhibiting feelings they experience regarding their sexual pleasures. It’s just another way that you keep your affairs spicy and serve as a powerfully healing, insightful force in your lover’s life.
This is often an aspect that indicates relationships that involve the confronting of latent homosexual or bisexual attractions. It’s, of course, not always the case. But, if this is your sexual preference and such fears exist in someone that you’re attracted to (and who’s attracted to you, however secretly), you have the innate ability to help them confront the deeper truth of their sexuality. That is, so long as they don’t resist that whole process. In fact, many Venus-Pluto folks can draw intense feelings of attraction out of people of every orientation that may sometimes be more amorous and admiring than sexual (like a very strong man-crush), serving as examples that those binary labels of attraction are much more complex than that. On the flip side, you might draw someone into your life that helps dig up some repressed feelings for the other sex. Some men with this aspect can have an especially hard time with this, when they identify as straight, resisting letting go of or modifying the identity they held on to for so long. But, Venus-Pluto aspects serve to release those taboos, in one way or another, and bring about change.
Venus conjunct Pluto: Having the conjunction means that you can endlessly complicate your love affairs. There might be secrets in that unfathomable heart of yours that even you can’t fully decipher. For better or worse, you’ll definitely leave a mark on your lovers. Many people with the conjunction can become serial daters, leaving a string of hot and heavy romances in their wake. But, when you find stability and security within yourself, you won’t waste time devouring partners. Instead, you’ll mate for life, seeking the one who you can deeply merge with.
Venus square or opposite Pluto: The square and the opposition often invite the most drama into their romances, usually because they don’t know that the source of that drama is them. Your unconscious motive is to either attract unsuitable, even poisonous partners into your life, confirming your victim role, or to utterly drive your partners crazy, allowing you to point the finger. When you can take responsibility for this, then you have the ability to be a truly memorable lover. You will enjoy relationships with depth and won’t settle for anything less than that.
Venus sextile or trine Pluto: With the sextile or the trine, the immense Mojo of these two combined planets is often used most easily and naturally. You have an intuitive awareness of how you’re affecting people and just how to wrap them around your little finger. But, it might be all too easy to resort to manipulative measures in this regard, as well. You can be as much of a lover as you are a fighter, which is the attractive thing about you. You’re very passionate in pleasing, attractive ways and don’t hesitate to push back and assert your power when needed.