Thursday, March 9, 2017

Aquarius the Alien



When I was in the fourth grade, there was one classmate of mine who constantly called me “alien.” I got fed up one day and asked her why and she told me it was because I had such a big head and because I was such a weirdo. How nice of her! (The funniest part of the story, though, is that I did stop hating her and she did actually become nice to me and we eventually became and remained good friends up to high school) But, playground insults aside, it did highlight this one feeling that I had always had and that, at this point in my life, I didn’t realize was because of astrology.

I did actually feel like an alien, like I never belonged wherever I went and that I was from some strange place that nobody else was. This was probably why my nemesis-turned-friend’s insult hurt me as much as it did: because I honestly, deep down, believed that she was right. Now, I see that this was my Aquarius Rising and North Node at play. There has always been this feeling I had that something about me didn’t fit. I felt unlike anyone in my family. Teachers rarely ever knew what to do with me: when I was a kid, I was “too much”, an almost ADD-like handful, and when I got a little older, I just didn’t try enough or care enough. Classmates could never easily label me. I was too weird to be popular, too much of a slacker to be a nerd, too nice to be a “bad kid.”

Where do I belong?

It’s a question that I still ask. If you’re an Aquarian, too, you know the struggle and it’s one of the most, if not the most, defining traits of this sign. Some Aquarius people struggle with this more overtly, really living out the misfit label in an obvious sense. But, other Aquarius types deal with this more internally or privately. There are some who have a prominent influence in this sign who might be able to convince you that those profiles are a bit off. They’re not that eccentric, they don’t have trouble fitting in, and they seem well-adjusted enough.  However, beneath that deceptively “normal” exterior beats the heart of a misfit and it can come out in surprising, unpredictable ways, often just to remind you that you don’t know them as well as you think that you do.

In spite of the famous ability to be a friend to all, Aquarius truly belongs to no one because, in the end, those with an influence in this sign feel like there is nowhere here on earth that they belong. This brings us to the alien archetype, which is heavily associated with Aquarius. Astrology works in almost primal ways, sometimes, and it is funny how, even as kids and even when we know nothing about our charts, we can still be drawn to the symbols of our placements. While, as a little Leo Sun, I was obsessed with lions and The Lion King was my absolute favorite childhood movie, aliens also held a major fascination for me. The fact that I mysteriously identified with them had quite a bit to do with it. In fact, when I was about 10, I spent the summer writing a “book” (which was really just a lot of pages in one of those big spiral notebooks) called Alien about, yeah, an alien invasion.

That was really my Aquarius side speaking, feeling a sort of kinship with these creatures from another planet. If you feel like there is nowhere here that you belong, logic follows that you must be from somewhere else. Now, of course, this isn’t literally true. (Well, it’s probably not true) But, the alien is the spirit animal of Aquarius people and for many reasons. The mythology of aliens really does mirror the experience of the Aquarius Sun, Moon, Rising, etc. here on earth.

First of all, aliens are very distant beings. Not only are they unreachable to us, before they land here on earth, but even when they are right in front of us, they are not easy to connect to. Aquarius people embody these traits through the detached, hard-to-pin-down demeanor that this sign is so known for. On a regular basis, it’s as if I’m on another planet or in another galaxy, even though I might just be at home. But, when this regular world gets to be too much, the Aquarian has to go off to his or her own little world. This is similar to Pisces but the difference is that it’s not because of a need to escape and get away from the cruel world. It’s because of a need to disconnect from people – who you love but who you also find tiresome – and be with your own thoughts.

It does lead to that famous saying about Aquarius: “they love humanity; it’s just people they can’t stand.” When I rectified my chart, I realized just how much I actually relate to that phrase. As nice and welcoming as I am, as fascinated by people as I am, as much as I love getting inside people’s heads, it’s also like, “Ugh, people!” Someone’s little habits are so interesting when you are people-watching them and so irritating when you are living with them. People can be so judgmental, obnoxious, petty, demanding, insecure. If you overwhelm the Aquarius or take up too much of their time, they can go from being your super-chill, laidback, likable companion to being really erratic, abrupt, and cold, making you think someone just turned off a switch.

Aquarius is actually quite similar to Gemini in that way. But, Gemini does this out of boredom, while the switch flips with Aquarius when you start clinging to them or making too many demands of them. It happens when the Aquarius is around people for too long. I think Aquarius is the most introverted of the Air signs, needing plenty of time to recharge and be alone after socializing or interacting with people. It’s why it’s perfect for the Aquarian to have a job or a hobby that allows them to be completely alone. I know that when I started working from home and could have lots of free time, in my room and totally by myself, I became more consistent in my dealings with people, instead of being so hot-and-cold. Aquarius needs time to travel back to its home planet.

That planet is ultimately a population of one. It’s why Aquarius is probably up there with Scorpio as one of the hardest signs to understand. (And if you happen to have an influence in both of these signs like me, congrats, because you’re a giant enigma to everyone all of the time) The alien comes from a place where a different language is spoken and when they travel to Earth, people have to work to understand them. This is the same for Aquarius. Since you operate solely on your own unique ideals, thoughts, perceptions, and visions, when you “come back to Earth”, people have to essentially hire a translator to know what you’re saying. It’s why it’s so easy to label the Aquarius as weird because they are operating in a way that is highly individualistic. 



And since you’re so used to doing things based on how they’re done on your home planet, when you deal with the earthlings, you are often surprised at how weird you are perceived to be. Often times, the person with the Aquarius placement(s) isn’t even trying to be weird. There is this cliché that this sign is blatantly quirky and eccentric, in some outrageous attempt to shock. But, that usually only happens when a person is exhibiting controlling, judgmental, or close-minded behavior and the Aquarius is trying to prove a point. Otherwise, the Aquarius person isn’t that self-conscious about it. That’s Leo’s domain, the performer who is operating for the audience’s reaction. Aquarius isn’t really thinking about your reaction until it happens. My quirky habits or patterns are done just because that’s what I do and I don’t realize they’re quirky until they get a reaction.

But, that’s the other element of Aquarius: studying the reactions and the patterns of those here on earth. The alien is at odds with what the earthlings are doing and is visiting merely to observe, which is why you always carry this innate feeling that your free-spirited Aquarius-influenced friend is only “just visiting” and will be gone as soon as he or she came. But, we come back! People are too interesting for us to not come back. It’s why people-watching is such an avid Aquarian pursuit. I’m quite an expert at it and not just with strangers. I also people-watch my acquaintances, my close friends, my relatives, filing away all sorts of info about them. If you feel like such an alien and like your patterns are different from everyone else’s, you want to observe these people and figure out why that is. And you also get very, very good at it. As deeply misunderstood as Aquarius is, it’s one of the few signs that can make you feel more understood than anyone else can. 

Yet, that personal feeling of being misunderstood always remains. So does this early sense that you are somehow going to be exposed for not being like everyone else. It’s something that eventually happens at some point in the Aquarian’s life, usually through being targeted or excluded for being different somehow. But, it’s something that can become quite neurotic. It could be the Aquarius Rising who always has this fear that they were actually adopted and one day the truth is going to come out. It could be the Aquarius Moon who always fears being rejected by her group of friends, even though they’ve been best friends since high school, or the Sun in Aquarius person who constantly, in the middle of some small talk with someone, thinks, “Oh, why did I say that? Now, they know. Now, they know I’m a big freak.”

As socially adept as this sign is described as being, I feel like it’s something that is gradually learned for the Aquarius. In spite of Uranus being the sign’s main ruler, it’s co-ruler is Saturn. This is a rather harsh planet that speaks to a difficult beginning and some obstacles that need to be worked through in order to achieve success. The Saturnian form of success through Aquarius is social and interpersonal. Therefore, a lot of Aquarians do not start off life being so cool. Social awkwardness is actually very common with this sign and it’s a trait it shares with Capricorn. But, Capricorn works through it by proving people wrong and by becoming sophisticated and respectable. Aquarius works through its awkwardness by going the opposite route: figuring out how to convince people that they don’t care and that their judgments mean nothing to them until that is actually true.   

I definitely went through my socially awkward youth. For a long time, I couldn’t walk into a room without feeling like some sort of social humiliation was in store for me. I gradually began turning it around by either being really aloof and indifferent to what was going on or saying or doing things that would just get the humiliation over with. For instance, I would be utterly blunt with people, just so if they were going to hate me, they could go ahead and get it over with. More often than not, though, they liked me for being honest, even if my honesty was startling or shocking to them. Aquarius’ experimentation does not have to happen in a lab. It can occur in this way via a social experiment. Eventually, the social awkwardness is managed because we become comfortable enough with those here on earth to feel like our alien presence isn’t so jarring or ridiculous.

But, in spite of all of the many, many friends the adult Aquarius can have and how readily they can gravitate toward social situations, I think the socially awkward part remains. Why? Because that is the alien part of the Aquarius and the Aquarius, no matter what, will always be an alien. Those with placements in this sign will always feel like the one who doesn’t entirely belong here. But, I think that’s why it becomes so important for us to make others feel like they belong: to be inclusive toward all kinds of people, to give off positive social vibes, to insist on equal rights for all people. The long-held experience of alienation gives the Aquarian a sympathy to those who are discarded, unacknowledged, misunderstood, or not given what they deserve. It’s what gives Aquarius the motivation to befriend so many and to also get involved in social or political causes.

It's all too common for people to be frustrated with someone with an Aquarius influence because of how they operate, feeling like they’re so distant or don’t connect very well or are here today and gone tomorrow. I know I’ve caused quite a few of those frustrations in the past myself. But, just remember that your Aquarian does not and will not operate how you expect them to. They operate based on what that home planet of theirs tells them to do and every Aquarian’s home planet is fundamentally different and individualistic. It may get tiresome and may not be easy to understand. But, just let them be and appreciate their uniqueness and maybe you’ll see it differently.

28 comments:

  1. Amazing article as always.. Being Scorpio sun and Aquarian moon(first house) and Aquarian North node(second house) I completely connected to what you said here.. My childhood was pretty lonely and being misunderstood and alienated from group settings was such a common theme that I became autonomous pretty early in life. I never realized how hard it was for people to figure me out until I was in college and having an introverted air in my personality actually made people more interested in wanting to know me better which I definitely didn't entertain that much.. But still they remember me as this quirky, cool and eccentric person who could be quite a jerk when it came to being stubborn about her privacy.. My Leo South node definitely gave me a natural flair in people charming and generosity, so bonding with people comes quite easily to me and that kind of confuses people even more when I disconnect and 'retreat to my head space' as they say.. But slowly I am learning not to care what they think (North node in aquarius) and be my free spirited self anyway and let them deal with it.. :)

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    1. Yes, we learn to be left alone to our own devices very easily from an early age. I think the journey for me (and probably many other Aquarius types) is learning that it doesn't equal loneliness or some void I need to fill and that I can just be completely okay and at peace with it.

      We also have this sign as our North Node, so I can relate to that, too. Like I said in the article, if I don't have my time to pull away, after being around someone or people for a while, I do get cranky or icy about it. But, when I really want to connect, I am very good at it. I think, for Aquarius, it has to be about wanting to connect rather than needing to.

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    2. So glad you replied Wayman.. I have been following your blog for about an year now.. Being born in the same year as you your blog posts are like a gold mine for me.. I have a Capricorn ascendant and due to a birth time mistake I had the same intercepted houses as your previous chart giving me a scorpio midheaven.. But somehow I never found myself connected to that image.. I have my scorpio sun in tenth house but I still strive so hard to leave a very sweet and loving image in public, which is quite contrary to the mysterious and powerful after effect of a scorpio midheaven public image.. When you rectified your chart I had an inkling to check out mine also and I found a revelation too.. The rectified chart still has a Capricorn ascendant but it gave me a libra midheaven which completely described me as the 'courteous, sweetheart, polite mediator', which was spot on.. In the new chart my sun is not conjuncting my midheaven which explains the difference between having a tenth house scorpio sun and a libra midheaven.. I feel so connected to your journey since then.. I feel like you are my spirit buddy.. Keep up the good work Wayman..!

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    3. Aw thanks! We 1989 babies are awesome. And I'm glad your new chart fits you much better. As I say, it's always worth looking into if there is significant room for doubt because, in the end, you want the most accurate portrait of yourself and your life you can get.

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  2. I really feel this. In terms of how people receive me, I know how to hit social cues and twist and turn around people( libra rising). Though it was always more w adults and not my peers. But I did feel that extreme alienation internally. I felt like I came from a different planet, like my body was a shell over me, and when I was younger I had a language I would slip into by accident, automatically. I have aqua sun in the forth conjunct Uranus and sextile Saturn! Now it's been me allowing that sense of alienation and not pathologizing it! I can be weirdly blunt about my observations, even when I ~know that the setting calls for light conversations. Sometimes I can't help it. I do feel strange and offbeat on some level always, and I always look in wonder at people who seem immersed in the earthly experience-- not in a condescending way. I feel the alien analogy (actuality) so hard. Life is all cool and amazing anyways lol

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    1. Yeah, I hear you. A part of me figured out how to be the charming smooth talker at some point in life, due to my Leo Sun/South Node in the 7th. So, one side of me is very good at putting people at ease and just making easy, light conversation.

      And another side of me, the Aquarian side, has no problem being crude or tactless or foul-mouthed. When I get to that point, anything can fly out of my mouth (Uranus is also trine my Mercury/Mars). But, it can be compulsive, too. And sarcastic! My sarcasm is on another level and it can actually make things awkward, at times, because the other person might not get the conversation at all or know I'm joking. You kind of have to get on my wavelength to understand my humor, sometimes.

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  3. Definitely can relate and I'm a Virgo! I blame my Uranus on my MC and to top it off, it's conjunct Neptune. *sighs*

    As a kid I never really fit in to a group/clique. My dad looked down on me a lot for not "fitting the mold" and I often got compared to my uncle, who is an Aquarius, but not in a good way. My school years were plagued with people labeling me as a "weirdo". I was the "Eleven" of my peers before Stranger Things was even thought of!

    I remember one time in high school I was walking down the hallway and this group of guys kept staring at me until one of them yelled out, "You look like a martian!" and they broke out cackling. It didn't matter to me because the dude who said it looked like a sea lion!

    This past month I was at a store waiting in line and I overheard a little girl say, "She looks weird...she should be a model!" And I know she was talking about me because I get that a lot!

    Can I just live and be left alone?

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    1. No, maybe she's right. Maybe you should just be a model. :)

      But, yeah, with Uranus right on your MC, you're going to feel like kind of a "sideshow circus" out in public. The good thing is that you stand out, at least!

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  4. I feel for Roberta Flack. She's a triple Aquarius!

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  5. Very interesting article. It fits Aquarius very well, especially the emotionally dry hard part. Not exactly cool when you're mom is an Aquarius tho! Haha!

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    1. Haha, yeah, I'm sure. It must've been an interesting upbringing though, nonetheless!

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  6. Being an Aquarius Rising, YES! Humanity is wonderful, but people suck. That is so true! And yes, I am full of the paradoxes of Aquarius. Happy with others, but just as happy being alone. And it frays my nervous system when I am around people for prolonged periods of time. And yes, the feeling of being different than everyone else is strong. Aquarius Rising, Virgo Sun, & Gemini Moon here and I definitely live in and thru my mind.

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    1. Wow, your Sun/Moon/Rising combo is intellectual as hell. So, yeah, you definitely do live through the mind! :)

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  7. I have only South Node in Aquarius in house 9 and I relate to every single word you wrote in this article, especially the 'love the humanity, hate the humans' part. I am also very often described as extroverted introvert because of this constant need to withdraw to my 'home planet' after socialising. If I'm around people for extended periods of time, I feel extremely itchy, nervous and can become detached instantly. It's like a switch and many people think I'm cold and rude at times. I'm also blunt very often - that part of the article where you describe being blunt on purpose 'just to get it over with'(the air of upcoming social awkwardness) - the most accurate thing ever. Also, my mum told me that from the age 2-4, I kept asking her where my 'real' home was. She blamed it on my vivid imagination.

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    1. I'm not surprised. The South Node is so ingrained and it plays a huge part in people's personalities, more than some people realize. A person can sometimes be more like their South Node sign than their Sun or Rising or whatever else.

      And same because I made up stories about being switched at birth or adopted when I was a kid and would tell them to people like it was the complete truth.

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    2. exactly! Also my 'real parents' in those stories were like really elaborate characters, something that a small child couldn't just come up with.It's like I had a proper 'memory' of something that didn't really exist. I remember that I used to ask adults around me if they understood 'the language of angels', which apparently I thought was some kind of a regular foreign language. When asked what it sounded like, I would explain that 'it sounded like a song'... Alien children, Aquarians

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  8. Sounds like you were writing a biography at the age of 10. HAHA
    Another great article I can relate to, because till these days my relatives still think I am a strange person, not to mention what people called me when I was in school before college.
    I have Aquarius intercept first house/Aquarius NN/Gemini sun/Scorpio moon, such a mess.

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  9. Weird, I'm not that Aquarian but I get this feeling a lot of not belonging a lot. Some people that I know that are also in astrology say that I have this Aquarian vibe.

    So far, I have Uranus conjunct with nepture square my sun, and sextile my ascendente and mars/pluto. But that's it.

    Or maybe they are confunsing Aquarian weirdness with Scorpion seclusion? I have more planets in the sign of scorpions,and Pluto conjuct my ascendent.

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  10. Weird, I'm not that Aquarian but I get this feeling a lot of not belonging a lot. Some people that I know that are also in astrology say that I have this Aquarian vibe.

    So far, I have Uranus conjunct with nepture square my sun, and sextile my ascendente and mars/pluto. But that's it.

    Or maybe they are confunsing Aquarian weirdness with Scorpion seclusion? I have more planets in the sign of scorpions,and Pluto conjuct my ascendent.

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    1. Pluto conjuncting your Ascendant would be enough to say that you feel alone and different from everyone else. Scorpios/Plutonians are not known for joining the party or wanting to be like others, either.

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    2. Late reply but I feel like Uranus square the Sun and sextile the Ascendant would be enough to contribute to that feeling, since Uranus rules Aquarius, especially with a square to the Sun.

      Pluto people can feel like they don't belong but it's a very different reason why. It's not because of being weird or an alien but because of feeling like there is so much superficiality and meaninglessness around you; like everyone's having a good old shallow time and you just don't get it.

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  11. I have Sun and SN in Aquarius/11th, and could not identify more with this article. I've struggled with extreme social awkwardness for most of my life and just a general feeling of never being able to be myself with others. This led to years of depression and isolation. I figured out early that the way avoid being treated like I was crazy was to stay silent a lot of the time. Not a good coping strategy, but it's the one I chose. Currently I'm at a point in my life where I am finally giving voice to my Aquarian AND Leo sides (is it Uranus transiting my 1st? haha). I can tell that it's disturbing a lot of people who've known me for decades as a wallflower with no apparent opinions or sense of self. I've never lacked either, I've just rarely expressed them. As someone who also has moon and NN in Leo/5th, this has been a painful way to live, to say the least.

    I am strongly Aquarian. And I recognise that I'm seen as weird. But I know perfectly well I'm not that different from anyone else. My difficulty is that I often feel extremely conflicted about any kind of pretense, including the kind of low-level social pretense that so much of daily life seems to require. Not that I don't think it's necessary. And I've tried. I just kinda suck at it :/ As an Aquarian-Leo-Aries, I think my first impulse is to speak what I think. For most of my life though, that impulse would quickly be followed by a kind of internalised 'danger! danger!' signal and I'd just sort of freeze like a deer in headlights. That's how I was in social situations. I couldn't say what I thought, but refused to say what I didn't think. I've never been the kind of Aquarian who does bizarre things to get attention. When I was younger, I couldn't have fathomed being that uninhibited.

    I want to comment on the thing about the Moon in Aquarius person who is terrified of being rejected by the group. That's my mother's placement. To my mind, she expends a lot of effort managing what people think of her - not in a Leo way, more in that it's very important to her to be seen as someone who always does the right and the normal thing. She's the only person who has called me 'weird' to my face, not in nice way. As a child, if I was particularly outspoken, or questioned why something was done the way it was, I'd often be met with disdain or even something close to contempt by her. She would also, in subtle and unsubtle ways, use the threat of 'what other people think' to try and frighten me into good behaviour. And she's always seemed to me to have had a notable lack of sympathy for anyone who finds themselves on the 'outside' in any way, as if they surely must have done something to put themselves there. None of this would have struck me as particularly Aquarian. But this article's made me see it in a different way. :)

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  12. *My ass sittin here with Mars, Uranus and Neptune in Aquarius+ Aqua on the 12th house cusp*:

    I.. I.. I mean there is SOME truth to it.... :D

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  13. As always, such an astute, vulnerable observation. I think what I enjoy the most about your perspective, Wayman, is that you're so great as using your personal narrative and experience to connect with the more universal elements in all of us.

    I certainly echo the sentiments of all the previous commenters. And with a Sun in Libra, Gemini Rising, and Moon in Aquarius, I feel so much of this.

    Actually, the first book I ever read was ET and although I wasn't the biggest fan of the aliens appearance, you would find me hiding under a stairwell in the projects peering through the pages as if they were life and understanding itself.

    I wouldn't realize until later that that was where I began to discover my own voice as a writer, and more gradually a misfit. And in addition to sharing the powerful stories of men--and those who love them--via my blog, The Pillow Talk Project to help rediscover the power of everyday intimate conversations, I've even managed to be a teaching consultant to help kids like me, who are often misunderstood.

    I, too, have been following your blog for about a year now, and I'm just so thankful to have a millennial who is fearless and incredibly perceptive. It's essential to better help us understand ourselves, so we can be that much more understanding of those around us.

    So looking forward to reading more of your posts.

    K.

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    1. Late reply but thanks so much for the kind words, Keith. I do remember seeing you on quite a few posts in the past year. Glad you could relate to the article and you're clearly very Airy, too, in general. It must be very interesting having your Sun, Moon, and Rising all in Air.

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  14. Good article as usual Wayman and yes, do not overwhelm an Aquarius person. I remember telling my friend I needed some space after only hanging out with her for a day. Of course she called me crazy and weird Lol. Def was my Aqua Moon. Told her I just felt like doing me but I still love you friend Lol

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  15. I haven't posted on here before, anyhow, I have Aq moon in 4th exactly quincunx Uranus in Cancer (yes, i am a lot older than a lot of you on here!) which is conjunct the MC, so moon and uranus are in mutual reception, tightly aspected, and there is the angular picture. As well as that, if considering saturn as a secondary ruler of aq, he is square uranus, smack bang on my libra ascendant. NN also in aquarius. Fitting in? What's that?! Been a misfit all my life, eccentric, quirky, outside (all?) boxes. No idea how to 'be' in the world. But y'know, that's ok. I have great qualities and I'm a very interesting and interested person!

    I have no capacity to stay in a relationship that doesn't give me ample space. Whenever I meet a new guy I tell them I won't live with them (it would swamp me), and that my idea of good relationship is one of 'breathing in & breathing out'.... or time together and time apart. Haven't met the guy yet who could grasp that in a wholesome way. Hey ho.

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  16. Lol I have my Sun and Mercury in Aquarius and Scorpio AC conjunct Pluto, but I also have a 12th house Moon so I'm just confusing people (and myself!) left and right. It's strange to think about how other people perceive you... I have definitely had that experience of realizing something about me was weird or different only once it was pointed out to me.
    Really awesome post. Aquarian energy is so strange and special.

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