Thursday, April 13, 2017

Chiron: How We Overcompensate



I get asked quite frequently about Chiron but I have never done an article about it. Chiron is possibly the most famous asteroid in the birth chart, along with Lilith. It’s also, in my opinion, the most relevant. In terms of the asteroids, I really only care about Chiron and Lilith and, sometimes, Part of Fortune. I’m sorry but I just don’t give a shit about Nessus and Narcissus and all of the slew of random asteroids out there. I feel like they’re too obscure and not all that meaningful. Chiron, however, is actually quite powerful. It’s taken me a while to totally grasp just how it manifests in one’s chart and, subsequently, their life. But, to me, it seems as if Chiron, by sign and house and aspect, represents just how we may try too hard, overcompensating for some early feeling of lack, dysfunction, or failure that still haunts us today.

There are a lot of harsh memories attached to one’s Chiron. It represents many negative or difficult experiences in our early life. But, unlike other placements in the birth chart, like the 8th House, that can represent woundedness that needs to be healed, I think that Chiron operates in a way that can make us really fixated on whatever pain we experienced through its placement and quite determined to make up for it. For this reason, we can put a lot of effort into this area of life or these concerns, to a degree that makes it clear that we must be masking some sort of insecurity or feeling of emptiness. It’s sort of like that person who has a terrible childhood and then spends their adulthood trying extra hard to be as successful, fabulous, famous, and respected as possible. They are clearly being driven by feelings of inadequacy or uncertainty from the past.

And we might not realize it but trying really hard to be “successful” in terms of our Chiron actually can only cause that pain to repeat. The cycle may continue because we become so reactive or so desperate in regards to the concerns of our Chiron that these things, again, turn out to be quite painful or bog us down. Chiron represents healing, for this reason. We truly find healing via our Chiron when we are capable of neither living in fear and feeling weighed down by this placement nor being too obsessed with it and with outrunning that pain from the past. We must find a middle ground that allows us to express our Chiron in a healthy, balanced way, which will eventually show us that this life area doesn’t have to be that terrifying and also doesn’t have to be so dramatic. 



But, before we get to that place, our Chiron placement can really victimize us, making us feel helpless, scared, overwhelmed, or just out of luck. If someone has Chiron in Leo and in the 4th House, there can be past experiences where they didn’t feel applauded, recognized, or in control, within their private lives and from those who they call family. So, private and family matters can be a serious sore spot for this person because their pride and their ego are constantly being threatened. Therefore, they can put a lot of energy into trying to impress their family, trying to live the most fabulous personal life that they can. This is usually when they become an adult and are attempting to outrun the scared little boy or girl they once were. Now, things are going to be different! They’re going to rule the roost if it’s the last thing that they do.

It’s this fear-driven thirst for what our Chiron represents that can do us in because we are still operating from a place of insecurity, hurt, or resentment. That person with the tough childhood who is now world-famous and wealthy can still, at the end of the day, feel like that little kid who didn’t get enough love. That pain fuels their journey for more fame, more money, more power. But, it will remain unhealed and unresolved until they stop and realize just what exactly is driving them. When it comes to Chiron, we have to figure out what’s really going on. With a 4th House Leo Chiron, you have to figure out just why you care so much what your family thinks and why you can tap-dance so hard just so they notice you. Sometimes, a crisis may have to happen for this breakthrough to occur. So, it might take you starting some drama at Thanksgiving and creating a giant mess for you to realize that your yearning for the spotlight at home is quite unhealthy or unbalanced.

I have Chiron in Cancer in the 6th House, which I’ve already spoken a bit about in a previous article, in regards to being painfully affected by a very sensitive immune system and having health issues that were very emotional in origin. Also, it manifested in a way that prevented me from operating from day-to-day according to my feelings and my instincts. I felt almost physically pained by schedules as a child and having to ignore my own inner rhythm just to get things done. Homework, chores, and the like could often put me in the worst mood. I could be totally irrational about the work I had to do, regularly neglecting to even do it without knowing why. I didn’t know why I forgot to do that assignment or how I just remembered, at the last minute, the essay was due. But, often, I was unconsciously procrastinating to an extreme and then paying for it. I just was not reliable or consistent growing up and I regularly had to be reminded multiple times to do something.

As an adult, I have really tried to make up for all of that. I strove to be a reliable person with a strong work ethic, to be on top of everything, and to be on top of my health. Yet, with the 6th House Chiron in Cancer, all of this was very emotionally driven because feeling so unreliable was a very touchy spot in my psyche. I also made quite an exaggerated effort to be in touch with my emotions and to always listen to my moods. But, because I did that, my productivity levels were pretty crazy. Sometimes, that work ethic was crazy in a good way because I did learn how to work, work, work, channeling all of my feelings into a task. But, other times, it just meant I became overly swayed by how I felt in terms of working because, again, I wasn’t allowed to be in the past. Also, worries about my health could very easily become neurotic, resulting in hypochondriac tendencies or mentally uneasy states that turned into physical sickness or vice versa.

So, for me, I have to stop and ask myself why it’s so important for me to be so productive and consistent and, also, why I’m so obsessed with tuning into how I feel at the moment. Inevitably, I’m an Aquarius Ascendant, so I can’t be too much of one or the other. I can’t try to fit myself into a box and that means trying to adhere to a schedule or routine that is too rigid or predictable or “normal.” But, I also can’t let my emotions take over to a degree that robs me of my objectivity. With the 6th House Chiron in Cancer, I have learned recently that I need to be more balanced in terms of letting my instincts set the course of my day. I can get a lot done when I’m using that work as an emotional outlet and also when I am really dedicated to taking good care of myself, health-wise. But, I also can’t be too neurotic or reactive about my work or my health, either.

Applying this balance to your Chiron is what allows it to heal. There can be a deep-seated sense of “déjà vu” in terms of how it is expressed because it will keep bringing up similar situations in your life, over and over again, until you deal with the pain that is lying underneath. Chiron in Aries could haunt you by making you feel like a coward or a follower, over and over, until you stop trying to outrun these feelings and manage them in a healthy way. Chiron in the 11th House may indicate this ongoing sense of being ridiculed, ostracized, or misunderstood by your peers or also of not being able to make a difference in the world, again and again. The answer is not in pressing yourself to overcome these feelings and not be that person anymore. It’s to examine why this pain keeps happening and to do what you can to work through it.

That being said, I don’t think the pain of one’s Chiron ever totally goes away. A part of me may always feel like I just can’t live the functional, consistent daily existence that’s expected of me and that I am somehow not getting what I really need because of that. But, the pain that your Chiron will always feel, to some degree, is enough to keep reminding you to check in with yourself and maintain your inner equilibrium. And by not pushing yourself or things too far, you can avoid a lot of unnecessary pain, in this regard.

22 comments:

  1. Bro, I have identity issues to the highest degree. But, recently, I've tried living like your Aquarius ascendant; Without boundaries. Works wonders. What is this FEAR-DRIVEN THIRST YOU SPEAK OF? Haha' I'm probably living your biggest nightmare. With Chiron on your Midheaven.

    ReplyDelete
  2. My Chiron in Pisces is in the seventh. I've felt alone ever since I was little and I still feel alone with my Chiron return a month away. Maybe my seventh house Saturn in Aries is delaying that overcompensation you mentioned.

    I do feel Chiron strongly though. Its transits to my angles tend set new ground rules, eventually for the better. Adding Chiron, turns the only inter-object trine in my radix into a grand trine (With Jupiter and Neptune in water). I've found a "magic pill" that helps me out-perform most guys half my age. My Virgo Ascendant-Pluto-Uranus-Moon stellium which opposes Chiron to form a kite might also be an indicator.

    Maybe weaving in and out of Saturn's orbit is where Chiron's fear comes from. It is believed to have been captured by the solar system eons ago and eventually escape it eons from now.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. With Saturn being in the same house as Chiron, you are probably incredibly fatalistic and fearful about relationships. But you can also feel extremely motivated to better yourself as a partner. So I think Saturn can either hold you back a lot in terms of getting over your Chiron hangups or eventually give you a huge push when it comes to conquering those insecurities or wounds.

      Delete
  3. I think you just gave a lot of people internal "permission" by suggesting that the pain of one's Chiron might not truly ever go away. Instead of beating ourselves up, we have to continually work, moment by moment, to just find the balance. Compassionately taking our wounds in hand, and consistently "checking in with ourselves"; rather than trying to attempt a wholesale "fix".

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah I think that may be the best way to look at it.

      Delete
  4. I have Chiron, Lilith, and Pluto in the third house. It's painful. How would you interpret that combination of planets, Wayman.

    ReplyDelete
  5. Beautiful.
    I am also chiron in six house, but virgo. I've been preoccupied with my body excessively since 8 years old. Also a constant care about health. Procrastinating too much. and so on....

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Yeah, procrastination really hurts Chiron in the 6th House people but so does being rigid or a workaholic. So, we have to find a sweet spot in the middle. And since yours is in Virgo, I can only imagine how preoccupied you are with getting things done and being healthy.

      Delete
  6. Nice. You're damn good! I'm Aqua Rising too, and Chiron in Cancer, but it's placed in my 5th house. And, like nearly always, family issues are involved. I suppose it's about not felling loved (5th house?) by your family, or parent (Cancer sign). Is that it? Jungian psychoterapy is really helpful!

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. It could be feeling like you could never really open your heart (5th) to your family and tell them how you feel (Cancer). Also, you might have felt like you just couldn't express yourself around them in your own special way. Maybe, they didn't give you enough applause or made you feel mediocre and this, obviously, could have made you feel very unsupported and even unsafe around them.

      Delete
  7. My Chiron in Taurus sits in the 10th. My career is never enough and I never feel good about it and it's why I've been denied love and nice things because it's...never enough? (Literally, "you're lucky this dude is talking to you because you don't have a master's." As a kid I felt like I had to achieve to make up for my brother. Now I respond by slackerdom, because that's not happening after my Saturn return.

    ReplyDelete
    Replies
    1. Chiron being in Taurus shows that you have tried too hard to make your success and recognition (10th House) define your self-worth (Taurus). The answer is to not go to either extreme and to just try and work through these issues in a balanced way. So, don't slack, either! But, don't be obsessed with status.

      Delete
  8. How should I interpret Chiron in Scorpio in the 9th house? I'm very obsessive about spirituality and power (I also have a lot of personal planets in the 8th house), but I'm trying to understand this placement more deeply.

    ReplyDelete
  9. I have Chiron conjunct my Descendant by 1 degree and directly opposite my Leo Moon (1 degree past my Ascendant), plus opposite Uranus (3 degrees before my Ascendant). So lots of relationship issues and mother issues there! I had my Chiron Return just 2 months after my mom died about 10 years ago. I didn't have a successful/lasting love relationship until my Chiron Return passed. My bf of 8 years is a real wounded healer type as it turned out, as he suffered from a serious mood disorder and for 20+ years now facilitates support groups. I still have some issues of course, including having had female friendships that also caused wounding over the years (Moon opposite Chiron). But the Chiron Return did heal things in a major way.

    ReplyDelete
  10. Hey, was wondering if you could tell me how would my retrograde Chiron in 6th house in Scorpio manifest itself, since I also have North Node in Virgo :D

    ReplyDelete
  11. So helpful thank you! I have chiron 6th house in Aries. I can totally relate to what you said. I have been been struggling to unidentify my sense of self from what I achieve in a day! I also have chiron conjunct Jupiter & they are on the dark side of the descendent- I wonder if this is why I feel so responsible for helping/healing others too? Jeez. No wonder I feel so much pressure!!

    ReplyDelete
  12. I have Chiron in Aries in the First on my South Node. What would that mean?

    ReplyDelete
  13. I've my Chiron, sun AND Jupiter in house 8! Imagine that! LOL. It's painful. That's all I know.

    ReplyDelete
  14. I have Chiron in Scorpio squaring my Sun in Leo and Uranus in Aquarius forming a T-Square, the crazy mood swings between wanting to live and wanting to put a bullet in my head are crazy, and my chrion is in my 2nd house, opposite the focal point of the T-Square

    ReplyDelete
  15. Perhaps the balm to our eternal chirotic wounds lies in applying the wisdom of the sign it occurs in--empowering your internal gentle, loving mother for when the tender spot acts up in cancer in the sixth house, or taking action like a warrior to save a life when the Chiron in Aries in 7th gets triggered to facilitate one on one healing, or using scorpionic penetrating analysis to find the cause and remedy for despair for the above comment from Unknown above (Bach remedy of sweet chestnut can mitigate somewhat). Chiron conjunct DESC is a traditional placement for one on one healing, btw...

    ReplyDelete